Dr. Snoodles, Teddy Bear Phrenologist

The nice thing about having THREE food babies?
You stop caring about shit, and you're only interested in finding the Tums.

me: I've been telling everyone I actually don't speak English; I'm just parroting popular movie quotes and LOLCatz.

Husband: *snicker*

me: It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Husband: I can't answer that without getting hit. :(

Check out what I'm listening to. Go ahead, I'll wait.

One of the verses goes:
Earthquakes and sharks to start us off,
If Chupacabras ain't enough,
Black widow spiders and killer bees,
There ain't no shade, there ain't no trees.
Hot desert heat, polluted air,
And traffic jams beyond compare.
That's all I got to warn ya 'bout Mexico and California.

If I still listened to the radio, I'd want to dedicate this song to katiem00 and lysaer. Why? It's about California, the DEATH STATE. I mean we've had killer bees, earthquakes, fires, riots and we are the heart of the Gay Agenda. If California doesn't kill you, it's going to gay you up and have buttsecks with you--assuming we don't sink into the ocean first.

California = one big state of DEATH.

I'm a bit miffed that I'm too swamped with work to go a New Year's party some friends from high school are throwing.
This year's theme is "Fuck you, 2003, and good riddance!"
I suspect there will be a lot of bitter anecdotes and a lot of drinking.
I'll be missing out on lots of booze (and seeing old friends and stuff)!

Mmmm, boooooze. My precioussss...

For everyone who remembers Xeminar 2000:
Just in case none of you heard, the Roosevelt Hotel celebrated its 75th anniversary and they underwent a $15 million renovation.
Apparently the owners thought the Art Deco design was too ornate so they opted for a stream-lined, Asian-y look. The web site has pictures.
The architect and interior designer are profiled in the September issue of Audrey.

I suspect the Nagel-esque pictures of Marilyn Monroe are gone.

On Saturday I got a letter from a friend who only lives an hour away and who usually emails me.
I open the envelope and it's a chain letter. Not just any chain letter, but a panties exchange pyramid scheme.
O my gawd, woman, you did not just send this to me.
There's only two names on the list, I buy a pair of undies and send them, with tags still attached, to person #1. I then make six copies of the letter, moving person #2 to the #1 spot and putting my name in the #2 spot, along with my size and any special requests. Then I send off this letter to 6 other people.
Seriously, this makes for good revenge for all those folks who only ever send me forwards instead of simple emails saying "Hello!"--especially for the people who always send those damn $100 cookie recipes or "forward this to 20 people in 24 hours and you will find twu luv." Bastards! What kind of friends are you?!
Unfortunately, I got the letter the day I had spent too much money on attempts to make my wardrobe more work-friendly (of course, that doesn't explain why I got this blouse or this skirt).
I think I'm going to email Jana and pass.

When I was browsing News Askew for a really old picture of Jason Lee (back when he was a pro skater) they had posted awhile back, I came across a link to the All Girl Summer Fun Band web site where they wrote a song about Jason Lee. It's no "David Duchovny, why won't you love me?" but it's cute.

And apparently I have lost all my Asian street cred because I like to put ketchup on fried rice. Yeah, I'm looking for a shirt with a twinkie on it.

Friends should not send me serious emails with titles like "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" if they do not want to be accidentally deleted as spam.
(It's a good thing I saw Jana's name or I would've forgotten about our Butch Fairy night next Saturday.)
This probably means I should stop sending emails with "pr0n!" in the subject header.

My coworker told me a cute anecdote:

A friend of hers was throwing a baby shower. When she had to send out the invitations, she realized she was out of stamps. She went down to the post office to buy some. The lady at the counter gave her the choice of the American flag or stamps with pictures of puppies and kittens. Since the stamps were for the baby shower invitations, the friend thought the fuzzy wuzzies would be better. After buying the stamps, she got a good look at them: the stamps are from the ASPCA with words "neuter" and "spade" in big print, in the borders of the kitty and puppy pictures. She thought the irony was funny enough to send the invitations out with the ASPCA stamps.

The anecdote's fitting since today is "bring your child to work day." This sort of thing reminds me that kids are always cuter when they're someone else's.

One of my favorite memories from senior prom: Jackie and her friend Nuprin (seriously) singing the classic Monty Python song "I want to sit on your face" to me and my date.